Kankri x Reader: Comfort Him

“Kankri?” You knock on the door of your flushcrush’s hive, expecting an immediate answer. You needed someone to talk to, as you had been feeling a bit down lately. Of course, Kankri wasn’t the one to come to to talk to, but hearing his voice spawned a lifting feeling in your stomach and always brought up your spirits.
Not hearing an answer, you opened the door and continued inside carefully, not wanting to ‘trigger’ him. You saw a notebook lying on the floor with an uncapped pen, and was surprised the usual neat freak would leave it out like that. Hesitantly, you picked up the notebook and looked inside. Messy handwriting scrawled dark words across the paper, and only now did you realize the red he wrote in was terribly close to blood. Fresh ink marked ‘Insuffra6le’ on most of the pages, surrounded by what you assumed were more words he had come to describe himself with. You slammed the notebook shut and ran to look for him, finally tracking the sobbing down to his respiteblock. He sat burrowed in a beanbag, head stuffed halfway into his sweater, eyes tinted red with tears and cheeks stained crimson by those already fallen. You felt your knees buckle and you felt a sudden dizziness. No, no, you were not going to break down, he’ll hear you and try and comfort you and-
The floor seemed to pull you down like a magnet as you collapsed, sobbing rather loudly. How could such a wonderful person think of himself in such a way?
There was all too suddenly a warm embrace and redness and greyness and everything was fuzzy and you were not going to do this, not in front of someone who needed comfort so much more, and you tried to wrap your arms around him to help him but the sobbing was knocking the wind out of you and there were sweet whispers and melancholy words and darkness before you were being propped up into someone’s chest and they were so very warm and you had never felt more safe and accepted and you could just stay here forever and-
Get up.
Get up and comfort this poor, selfless, self-considered unloved soul right now.
And that is what you did.
“K-Kankri?” You barely got out before almost breaking down again from the grim look splotched and etched on his face.
“_____, you are always welcome in my hive but I am afraid my current mental state could be a possible trigger for you.” He heaved out; and hearing the hopelessness in his tone was like drinking flat seltzer, and you reached out to touch his face but pulled back for fear of hurting him further.
“Why?” You whispered, a shaky wisp of breath that only passed for a word because your pitch made it so, and the horrible darkness on his face rasped and screamed words like outcast and lonely and misunderstood, and you felt the dull, aching pain in your chest that comes from a loved one not feeling loved. This time you did reach out to cup his face in your hands, and he answered with the shortest response you had ever heard leave his mouth.
“Because.”
“Because why?”
“Because I should really just shut up. I’m not worth listening to.” The sobs were coming again, and talking would suppress them, right?
“Kankri Vantas!” You managed to get out before clasping your arms around him and burying your face in his neck.
‘No, you’re doing this for him, not you.’ You pulled his face away from his neck only to have him gently push it back in there again. You were mildly surprised when he hugged you back, but then felt his feelings of longing for contact and a solid relationship and just having someone and it was almost physically painful.
“Don’t ever say that. Ever. Do you hear me? I love you, okay, and no one, especially not you, deserves to feel like this.” You took a deep breath before continuing, glad he couldn't see your face after you confessed. “Y-you just want to look out for people and make sure that they’re okay, and everyone else should think the same for you. Don’t ever think you’re not worth it Kankri, because you are, and never shut up, okay? I’m going to ask you right now to never stop talking, and I know you can do that.”
“But why talk if no one listens? No one cares about what I preach, I just go on and on about things that aren't important.”
“I listen. I will listen. Kankri, I love you, and I know you’ll probably find that triggering, but I do, I really do. I know you have your vow and all, but i’m always here, and i’ll always love you.” You pushed yourself away from his chest and looked into his eyes, hoping if you looked hard enough you could pull the sadness out of him. He awkwardly leaned forward, and he gently set his lips on yours. His inexperience showed, but you leaned in and kissed back because he needed this and you cared for him so very much. You took his hands in your own and squeezed gently, and you felt a numbing rush of warmth surge through you when he did the same. After a few more hours of scattered kisses and compliments and tight hugs and gentle hugs and urges to keep talking when he asked if he should stop, you were both beginning to feel quite tired.
“_____, perhaps it is best we get some rest.”
“Okay then, i’ll head home.”
“Oh, _____, if it isn't too much to ask...” He hid his blush in his sweater, suddenly meek. “Could you...possibly...stay with me?” You smiled at the offer.
“You should be sleeping in a recuperacoon, silly. Don’t want the nightmares to get you.”
“I’m quite sure there will be none if you’re here.” He said shyly, and there was that warm feeling in your chest again as you settled into him. “_____?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t think I've mentioned my flushed feelings towards you yet, and as you have mentioned yours several times, I would like to say it as well. So, _____, i’m flushed for you, and I love you.”
“Flushed for you too, Kankri.”
“We’re pretty big messes, aren't we, _____?”
“And messes stick together.”
“Of course.”